The Power of Emotional Intelligence: What Are You Missing?

This article  ? If You Regularly Ask This 4-Word Question, You Have Higher Emotional Intelligence than Most People  ? – prompted the following musings.

In a world where knowledge is highly valued, it’s crucial to recognize that none of us possess all the information necessary to make perfect decisions or fully understand every situation. Unfortunately, many people operate under the assumption that they already know everything they need to know, fearing that acknowledging their limitations or seeking help may be perceived as a weakness. This is particularly true for people with dominant Politician, GoGetter, or Artist temperament components.  However, emotionally intelligent leaders understand the importance of humility and self-awareness, recognizing that there are three situations when they need to ask themselves a simple yet powerful question: “What am I missing?”

Making Decisions

Leaders often face tremendous pressure when making decisions for their teams. The desire to make the right call can be overwhelming, but it’s essential to acknowledge that you may not have all the information you need. Instead of assuming you have it all figured out, take a step back and ask yourself, “What am I missing?”

Great leaders understand that they can benefit from seeking diverse perspectives and insights from their team members. By embracing this question, you open yourself up to new possibilities and make more informed decisions. Remember, waiting for every piece of information is unrealistic, but being open to alternative viewpoints can lead to better outcomes.

If you know your 7MTF profile (and take this 5-minute quiz to find out) it is particularly helpful to ask people whose dominant 7MTF components match your weaker ones.  For example, my Doublechecker and Artist components are low and in my corporate career would often bounce ideas and  opinions with people opposite components to me.


Effective leadership extends beyond decision-making. It also involves building and nurturing relationships. There may be instances when conversations don’t go as planned or relationships become strained. In these moments, it’s crucial to pause and reflect, asking yourself, “Why is this person responding this way? What am I missing?”

One of the best things to do is try to build 7MTF profiles of the people you are dealing with.   As a general rule we tend to like people who are like ourselves in temperament profiles.

By adopting a mindset that seeks to deal with your opposites you cultivate self-awareness and develop a deeper understanding of others. This approach allows you to focus on the relationship rather than reacting impulsively.  Recognize that miscommunication, differing perspectives, or external factors could be influencing the other person’s reactions. By seeking to understand what you might be missing, you create opportunities for growth and improved connections.


Life is a series of choices, and each decision has its consequences. By asking yourself what you might be missing, you gain a clearer understanding of the trade-offs involved in your choices. Consider the impact on your personal life, relationships, and overall well-being.

Taking a new job opportunity might bring excitement, but it could mean missing out on something equally valuable. In making such a decision try to work out the ideal temperament component for the jub.  Honestly assess what you might be missing, you can make more conscious decisions and take responsibility for the choices you make.  Again in my case I discovered than my Socialiser temperament component was below average.  I realised this would negatively impact my career potential as a general manager and decided to become and investment banker/venture capitalist instead.


The 7MTF model of temperament powerful emotional intelligence tool that empowers leaders to navigate complex situations with humility and self-awareness. By regularly asking, “What am I missing?” you demonstrate a willingness to learn, grow, and seek diverse perspectives. In decision-making, relationships, and personal experiences, this question serves as a guiding compass, allowing you to recognize your limitations and uncover valuable insights.

This blog was first published on LinkedIn on 22 June 2023


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Chris Golis - Author


"Put in a sales perspective, I loved your presentation! I got a lot from what you talked about and I will read your book."

Peter Morris, Executive Officer, Lomax Financial Group

Your presentation on 'Lifting your Level of Emotional Intelligence" to 10 CEOs scored an average 8.9 out of 10 for the topic and 8.5 for the presentation which is great. A couple of the attendees gave you a 10 out of 10, and the comments were:

- Great presentation. Very informative.

- Excellent presentation.

- made me think.

Christi Spring CEO Institute. - web