Why most EQ trainers fail to increase your EQ?

If you are currently doing an EQ training course and are frustrated with your slow progress this article that recently appeared in Forbes will help explain why.

Three Science-Backed Strategies To Grow Your Emotional Intelligence

The article proposes three strategies to quickly improve your EQ

1. Ninety-five percent of people can’t differentiate between “anger” and “disappointment.” You’ll get further faster by pinpointing exactly what you’re feeling and why.  Practice labelling your emotions with more and more specificity using Plutchik’s wheel of emotions.

Note that this wheel has 7 primary emotions: Happy, Sad, Disgusted, Angry, Fearful, Bad, Surprised.  In total this wheel contains 116 emotions.

Plutchik’s first wheel had 8 primary emotions:? Joy,?Trust, Fear, Surprise, Sadness, Disgust, Anger, Anticipation

Why the difference I don’t know.  Perhaps the designer of this wheel had read Miller’s famous paper The Magic number Seven plus or minus 2.  What I do know is that I am overwhelmed with information when I start using the wheel so I never use it.

2. Thirty-three of thirty-four people spun emotion-cantered stories about shapes moving randomly across a screen. First, we should try to catch ourselves creating untrue stories about the people around us. It’s all too easy to take a couple behaviours and spin up a story about someone. Better to wait and gather more info. Second, we should intentionally use stories to remember facts, ideas, and new information.
3. Describing a day when you felt curious boosts mental and physical energy by 20% more than recounting a time of profound happiness. Next time you catch yourself feeling stressed, reframe your stress as something that’s interesting. Say, “It’s interesting how ___.”

All three suggested strategies have merit but are strategically flawed.  Firstly they are tactics rather than strategies and there is no linkage among themselves.

Secondly if you are going think strategically you need a model.  For example, in business plans, Porter’s Five Factor Model is commonly used tool for analysing a strategy..

With emotional intelligence I use the 7MTF.  In this model there are 7 primary core emotions.  Each is associated with a mental illness and each has dominant desire.  For most people 2 core emotions are stronger than average (top 17%), 3 are average (67%) and two are below average.  The combination is a person’s temperament which is defined a person’s genetic emotional bias.

The 7MTF is practical, scientifically valid, trait-based, and easy to learn and use.

For more information watch this 4-minute video introduction to the 7MTF.  If that whets you appetite  sign up to my Introduction to the 7MTF online-video course that takes only 5 hours to complete and an investment of only A$25.  The 7MTF model of temperament is the secret to lifting your emotional intelligence.  If you complete the basic 7MTF course you will dramatically increase your EQ competency in days rather than the three-month long programs of meditation, journalising, and improving your emotional vocabulary most EQ experts recommend.

Or if you want a more personal touch where you and I meet on-line for six coaching  sessions read what is offered here.